The Valu-Mart Soap Opera - Flashback

Since I have to work tomorrow (11-7) and I probably wont write in my blog tomorrow because of the time, I think it is appropriate to share some of the past experiences of the life at Valu-Mart! So sit back and enjoy....

I am a part-time employee at Valu-Mart in the loving Wortley Village. I work in three departments including, grocery, bakery and garden center. I have worked over a year now and I enjoy working there. For those that don't know, I started off working in garden center in May 2007. I actually found garden center to be the best department to work in out of all three because you basically work alone and outside. But at the end of garden center season, I was moved indoors to work in grocery on Wednesdays and Bakery Saturdays and Sundays.

The wonderful world of grocery is probably a mix between the second easiest job in the world and the hardest job in the world. But for the most part it is easy. I work with James on Wednesday nights doing some odd jobs in order to prepare for new shipments coming in later that week or for the Friday sales. James made up a nickname for me, and now everyone calls me it. I am actually proud of my name......"Asian Pockets" which was derived from "Pocket" (ie Mark) because of how he used to face aisles with one hand in his pocket. But since 50% of the blood that flows in my veins is half Chinese, I am titled as Asian Pockets. We even named the 2L pop wall in the back - "The Great Wall".

The worst job in grocery would have to be doing MILK LEAKERS because of the mold growing on the bucket and the smell of rotting milk (skim, 1%, 2%, homo), cream, eggnog, chocolate milk and sometimes the occasional orange juice. Every carton/bag of milk that is leaking or is off code goes in that bucket and i have to count them all.


Working in bakery is actually not that bad, once you get the hang of it. The only problem is the manager. The only problem is her inability to spell words. Hilarious examples include:

• When she couldn't remember Alyssa's name so she called her "GIRL" on the weekend task note.
• The changing of present tense to past tense to future tense.
• Her over uses of the comma, exclamation mark, caps lock, and periods.
• "Remember to throw away the cord of the onion" ---> onions have cords?

And the list goes on and on.... James has a record of every weekend note she writes. lol

Then there are my friends in produce and deli. Theresa and Richard are among the high ranked friends at Valu-Mart. On Wednesdays, Theresa and I have our weekly "LOTTO WEDNESDAY". This was started when we both turned 18, and to celebrate we both scratch a $3 lottery ticket. So far we both have only won once during an official LOTTO WEDNESDAY scratching. But due to some issues that Theresa caused, I had to make formal strict rules. She scratched with someone else other than me! But i forgave her because she argued that it wasn't on a Wednesday. and just to let everyone know---> This week Wed July23, 2008 we didn't win on 2X "Deal or No Deals".

Sundays is our biweekly "Pencil Sunday" where we drop pencils on people. Random eh? one week Theresa, Monica and I were in john's office looking at customers when I noticed a very small hole in the floor. I investigated by dropping a pencil and then we decided to drop it on someone. I think we really confused some of the cashiers.

Then there are always the shop lifters.... Ahhhhhhh the shop lifters. I've always wanted to chase one down...but I never seem to be working when we get them. Except for this one kid. The floor watcher calls him the "CHOCOLATE BAR BANDIT" because he steals 5 chocolate bars and gives them to his friends. Pockets, Theresa and I want him to come back because we want to catch this 12-year old skater punk kid. Hes stared me in the eyes a couple times. I always get Andrea to page "Security to Zone F". I really want her to page, "Jordan to the Interrogation Room" or "Mark to the Torture Room of Death". How awesome would that be. Theresa actually saw him recently at South.....wonder if he goes there........or Tecumseh!!

The life at Valu-Mart is not for any ordinary guy. It is for the person that can handle the crazy, the weird, the dyslexic, the bizarre, and the most annoying of people. You have to fit in in order to stay in. To conclude I leave you with the top ten tips to survive at Valu Mart!

1. If your female prepare to to be scared shitless by Richard in the cooler.
2. Careful when opening the Compactor door because you just might get a concussion.
3. If you are mental and somewhat young prepare to be hit on by Monica and Andrea.
   
4. If you work Saturday evening, please bring money so we can buy some Chinese food or pizza.
5. Do not mess with TK because she WILL beat you up. This includes not mocking her of love for the Maple Leafs.
6. Make sure you are not trained by Robot Sandra.
7. If your having a bad day, all you have to do is read Nancy's weekend notes.
8. If your writing on a cake and you've run out of piping bags, make sure you don't use the bread bags cause they will explode on the cake! (See photo)
9. Relationships between Valu-Mart Co-Workers never work out.
10. Nothing is a secret! Anything that you say or do will get around to everyone in the store.